Do you have children? I’m sure you know someone with children, you ever looked back or see a photo of them pop up on facebook and see how much they have grown? We always say the same thing, holy hell where did the time go, or wow I’m getting old. Why does it take some photo or comparison to make us step back and be like, Woah where the hell did the time go?, what am I doing with my life? Why did I not finish that goal I set? Even better yet remember the first time you thought you were fat? Now alot of us would love to be that size again. Go back in time and slap ourselves and be like, “listen here stupid you’re sexy and beautiful and apply for that job or college, start that book, stop wasting time.” Yes reminiscing is nice, living in the past isn’t, regret is something we should never have, only growth. That’s the truth though stop regretting if you are right now, easier said then done I know but you have to if you want to get more time or make time your bitch to succeed and live! It’s good to be humble, and have those “regrets” as a life lesson but if you find yourself always looking back on it then you need to stop because you are wasting time and not growing. If you find yourself this way get a therapist, no seriously there are some great ones out there and when you find yours they almost become a good friend, a good friend who’s not a prick to you, will always listen and probably won’t drink your last beer in the fridge and lie about it. As a grown macho man I never thought therapy was for me, I’m sort of pissed I wasted so much time getting into it, I honestly am entertaining the idea to start school for social work/ licensed therapist of some sort after I’m done being a firefighter and truly entertaining the idea of doing both somehow. I tried therapy many years ago and didn’t like the guy and I never went back and did not try it again for many years. After 5 different therapists later I have found one that fits me. Every book I’ve read honestly says it takes about 4 to 5 different therapists before you find yours. They also say we normally don’t start this shit until our 30’s and I wish we all did it younger we would all be better off. Maybe?? Hell, Michael Phelps has a commercial about going to therapy now wishing he did it younger also.
“You can’t put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get.” ~~ Michael Phelps
So back to “regrets” and stop wasting time on them. It is easier said then done, we cannot just “STOP IT” like the Bob Newhart therapist sketch from mad TV. CLICK HERE To Watch it on youtube if you’ve never seen it before. I personally have had a therapist tell me that before, it honestly pissed me off. It’s easy for others, a friend, a family member to tell us to stop it, or oh’ fucking get over it already. From a breakup/divorce to losing your job to failing a test, whatever. We all suck at empathy especially when we cannot relate. When our hearts hurt for something it’s not so easy to stop wasting time on it or the memories. A lot of us like to live in or relive the pain it gives us something to hold onto since we couldn’t hold onto or achieve what we wanted, so we want to hold onto what we did achieve which was pain of some sort. But where is the line between being a normal person in pain to a masochist, a martyr, a pure depresso weirdo who sucks at coping? I dunno that’s for you to decide and how much time you want to spend on it. But I’ll offer my advice, STOP IT!
“If you can’t stop thinking about it, don’t stop working for it.” ~~Michael Jordan
Technically by me writing this right now I’m wasting my time since only about two people visit this blog a day right now. But this was an idea of mine, a goal to try and help others, share my bullshit, growth, failures, laughs, love, jokes, recipes and whatever else to possibly help others. So I’m not wasting time I’m stepping up the ladder of things I want to do and progress with no matter how small it may seem right now. (Follow me on twitter if you want I share stupid stuff on there, recipes, videos, humor and other crap. @OrangeThinker ) I’ve always wanted to write a book and I have never had any clue on why, what subject, and where the hell do I start. In my opinion my English and punctuation could seriously use some help and I felt a little too uneducated in a sense to start a literary master piece. So let’s see here, I’ve always had a weird dream of writing a book, I look back at it as an unfulfilled goal, and I talk myself out of it in a sense because I have a boat load full of excuses and a bunch of other shit I can be wasting my time on. Sound Familiar? That’s what we do, we are our own worst enemies and five to ten years from now you see a facebook photo of that bitch Stacy’s son (she never brought orange slices when it was her turn) he was on your daughters soccer team, her bratty son with the weird wedgie ass picking fetish he did all game standing there on defense; he is now tall, handsome and posing in front of his new car they got him. The typical show off my kid is driving now lets all pose in front of the vehicle together for a photo picture on facebook. You know what I’m talking about. So we come across that photo and viola the same cycle of our regret, self hating or even sad for yourself about someone, goals, missed opportunities or what you don’t have starts again about wasted time or missing time. We will compare an innocent photo on facebook to past memories then those memories turn into thoughts and those thoughts are normally about how skinny or young we looked then, what you had back then, what you miss, what you didn’t accomplish, what sucks in your life now vs. what was good back then so on and so forth. When we need to just STOP IT! and enjoy what we have or do and how we are going to change and improve even at this very second in the smallest step possible to move forward. Close this Blog right now even and go do something small like hanging up that laundry that’s been sitting in a chair for a week. Improve in the slightest way everyday even if it’s a mundane small thing. Those small things build to bigger things even if it’s laundry.
“Because so often when we say we’re unqualified for something, what we’re really saying is that we’re too scared to try it, not that we can’t do it. ” ~~ Jen Sincero
What I’ve done to start growing is I started this blog and maybe one day it’ll turn into a book somehow. Maybe even a TV show or movie, nahhh I curse too much and I’m not that interesting even though somehow others think I am because I’m a firefighter and I see death and destruction daily. I have done some really cool shit and truly have been a “Hero” I honestly don’t even know what a hero is because to me I’m just doing my job and I still poop like everyone else. Remember kids even super models poop, everyone poops. If you’re ever feeling intimidated by someone or something remember they have to wipe also. Anyways back on topic here sorry. Instead of regretting wasting my time and not starting a goal I’ve taken a shot at it. I designed an unpolished looking web page for blogging, I started a twitter account and just trying to get things going so I stop feeling like I’m not wasting my time or missing out on a goal. You can do that also, take something anything you’d like to do or always dreamt of, instead of going all out into it (which I also highly recommend also if you have the time and resources everyone deserves to throw themselves at something) but if you can’t, don’t or are scared, then try and put a spin on it. Start slow, grab a fucking book on it, ask a friend or anyone where maybe you should start. Reach out to someone, hell reach out to me post a comment and I’ll respond with an idea where you can maybe start. Throw it at people and hear their opinion or an avenue they would take. The world takes a team and everyone specializes in things differently and we all think and process differently. I’m a pretty smart guy and maybe me putting my two cents at it might give you a way or start you never thought of. It very well could open up a new door in your mind being like yeah his idea sucked but that’s not to shabby to start in that general area; maybe even the exact opposite of what someone says may work better for you. Reach out to someone who’s done it before, be realistic though with your dreams but aim for the fucking stars. Reach out to Gary Vaynerchuk he loves shooting the shit with “nobodies” they almost empower him because he knows hes a nobody that is a somebody. I fell in love with his videos and talks a while back because he’s real like me, curses like me, even if he is fake so what he still gives you good shit to go off of and ways to stop wasting fucking time. His twitter is @garyvee
“Enjoy Doing Something For Yourself, It’s Later Then You Think.” ~~ OrangeThinker
One of the biggest things we need to do and repeat this over and over to ourselves, tattoo it on yourself, write it down, make a inspirational meme picture quote on facebook about it. Stop trying to change yourself start changing your actions. Time doesn’t exist, yeah we waste it, need it and can never get it back once it is spent. It is a made up man made tool to count our seconds and days. Would you change your actions if you knew time didn’t exist? If you didn’t age? I know I would, or I at least bullshit myself that I would. Time is made up by man to keep track of things, to keep things on time, to keep us safe and help us be responsible. Without that casio watch you might accidentally leave little Timmy at the school bus stop for days. Time keeps us safe, a standard of time wasn’t truly put into effect until 1883.
The U.S. national time standard, didn’t emerge until 1883, when it was adopted by the railroads, which needed to maintain common timetables. By keeping common timetables trains didn’t slam into each other and people didn’t have to sit around all day guessing when a train will arrive.
So time keeps us safe but yet we piss it away and hate it but crave it. Why not start making some of your time unsafe? I’m not saying go rock climbing or skydiving, but in this modern age we are so fucking riddled with anxiety, depression, disappointment, expectations and more all because of time. Not married by 30, have a house by 35, didn’t find your niche/career/college degree by 25? You’re not alone but there’s some kind of “time social standard” we all want to achieve and driving ourselves mad about it. Take time off from that shit, take some time for a goal or a dream you have. Always wanted to travel to another country or state? fucking do it. That dreamy idea of yours and taking the time to do it can seriously change your mind and how it works. It can possibly fill you with years of positivity and memories, things we actually need to survive and cope in this world. Find the time to be unsafe and outside of your normal, I have found so much pleasure in trying or doing things outside of my comfort zone. It has opened my eyes and understanding for others and helped me discover so many delicious things in life. Take the time to be unsafe, sign up for that class, take that trip, ask that girl/guy out, try that weird food, setup a board game in a public place and challenge people, apply for that job, ask someone for advice.
“You’re always one decision away from a totally different life.” ~~ Mark Batterson
Communication is so vital to our lives, waste time on that if you can. Talk to everyone you can, you don’t have to open up to them about your dog that died or your sexual fetishes but just try and communicate even if it’s a smile and offering a stick of gum. We have become such assholes as a society, a lot people under 25 years old now cannot even sign their name in cursive and they use such horrible English because the auto-correct on their phones saves them from ever attempting to remember the spelling of words; they use emojis to communicate with non-stop. Ur, 4, gr8, ILY, thx, nvm, smh, fml, lmk and so many more fucked up abbreviations are actually being used on job applications. I understand slang has always played a role in communication especially in what atmosphere/area we grew up in, but we are literally becoming virtually stupid and crippled not only with grammar but even simply knowing how to help someone or how to talk with each other; it is carrying over into our households, family and love life. We are starting to suck and suck so bad at communication to the point it’s affecting our empathy, affirmation and understanding. If we cannot communicate in our homes, try and give respect on a job application how the hell can we discover and communicate with the world and strangers? How the hell are we ever going to discover a passion, food, goal or dream we never knew we had before if we cannot even be nice enough and respectful enough to talk with an older person or someone wearing something cool and asking them where they got it from or what it does? We are losing our ability to communicate with the world especially between generations, to the point 30 year old’s hate on 20 year old’s now of days. Take the fucking time to communicate it will only better your life, open your world and better the quality of your life. It will teach you how to take rejection, open up, respond appropriately, learn body language, find love, achieve goals, get a surprise opportunity, or save a life. Be like a child with communication, an adult would never ask you what your third favorite dinosaur is but a child will. Be interested in each other, it will only make you more interesting.
” The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ~~ George Bernard Shaw
As a 15 year career firefighter (pretty much double that since I have to pull so much overtime to make a living) I have seen the complications of time that’s been taken away. I of all people in this world should be living my life to the fullest with the amount of death and disgust I see and experience. From babies drowning to an older man losing his wife hugging him close as he breaks down because she was his whole world.( I think women take the death of their husband better because they want us dead half the time J/K) I’ve had parents screaming at me, families trying to hit me, guns pulled on me, cried on, puked on, pushed on, held tightly, covered in blood, stabbed with needles, and so much more all while trying to save someone or telling the family there is nothing we can do for them. I should have the greatest outlook and appreciation for life and should value my time like no other. I’m like anyone else, I lack self confidence, don’t believe in myself, my peers like yours try and take each other down, depression, anxiety, regret, failure, success, bills, stress, hemorrhoids, I WASTE TIME! As a firefighter I’m not an extraordinary person I’m just a person who can handle extraordinary situations. I’m no better then you I just have skills and a natural ability to be lucky enough to perform my duties. I’m grateful for that, so many people in this world fight just to be able to walk, see, hear, many just fighting to survive.
“ How tragic it is to find that an entire lifetime is wasted in pursuit of distractions while purpose is neglected. ” ~~Sunday Adelaja
With therapy, books, practicing communication, doing things outside of my comfort zone, wasting my time in better ways, being honest with myself, others and letting go of shit; I have begun to stop wasting my time and started wasting my time in better ways. The whole point of this Blog post is to maybe inspire you to do something anything with your time. Take a chance or just get off your ass and go sweep the porch, make it fun put on Pandora or iheartradio create a station from an artist you remember as a teen, grab that broom and start rapping with Nelly or sing that Backstreet Boys song as loud as you can. It’ll help you “waste some time” and be productive and I guarantee you will feel better in general afterwards. Unlocking some serotonin and dopamine levels in your brain making that frontal cortex impulse control side of your brain relax for a few and make your left prefrontal cortex (our happiness spot in the brain) fire off and enjoy. I fell in love mowing my yard years ago because of music, I never enjoyed mowing lawns much as a child I mowed a lot of lawns for family members and friends of the family, it was my chore and spent my summers doing it for free non stop; it sucked. As an adult I did it like it was a job I had to take care of, but one day I popped my headphones in created a Pandora station with a mix of artists/ songs such as, JKwon-Tipsy, Usher, Tom Petty, Green Day, Blink 182, lil Wayne, Kenny Chesney , Billy Joel. I poured myself a captain and coke and got ready for this shitty chore. For some reason this new music station played a bunch of stuff making me laugh, sing aloud, middle school and high school hits, and I’m sure the drinks helped also. It made it such an enjoyable day of mowing I honestly didn’t want to stop, even though I was sweating y ass off in the Florida heat, I actually cranked the music louder and did even more chores outside when the lawn mowing was done. That’s how this work’s start wasting your time on anything start small, change up the habit, add something new into it and next thing you know you’re progressing and growing even if it’s chores to a fucking college degree. The music lawnmower day happened about 2008, so for the last 10 years no lie I cannot wait to mow the lawn now I’ll mow the whole neighborhood’s lawn if they’ll let me, it’s a simple routine that I enjoy and it makes me happy. Something so stupid as music, a few drinks and my brain firing off some old memories and songs to the point that I cannot wait for the smell of lawnmower exhaust, dust and grass covering me, pouring my drink out because I got sand in it, puking/gagging like a little bitch because I swallowed a bug, blaring my music in my ears and doing my chore.
“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” ~~ Thomas Jefferson
Take the time to start encouraging yourself also. We are so fucking hard on ourselves, In the beginning of this post I stated “Remember the first time you thought you were fat? Now a lot of us would love to be that size again. Go back in time and slap ourselves and be like, “listen here stupid you’re sexy and beautiful and apply for that job or college or start that book, stop wasting time.” If you find yourself saying sorry a lot to others, find yourself not looking into a mirror so you don’t see your reflection, refer to yourself as stupid or dumb even if it’s a joking manner, purposely make fun of yourself, don’t buy something because you feel you don’t deserve it, talk yourself out of something before the thought was even finished in your brain, then my friend you’ve got to start being nicer to yourself. It is very hard to do, therapy can help, watching youtube videos can help, books can help, it all depends on how you learn or what fits your fancy we’re all so different. One major thing that will help you and everyone in this world is to do like I’ve been saying all along in this post waste your time on something new or different. Grab that broom, book a flight, read a book, visit that new store/restaurant, ask her/him out, hang that laundry, go for a walk, go for a drive, make a list. Small little things build to bigger things, if we thought of it that means our brain/personality/body want to do it. Even if we don’t like it after we do it, that just means we explored and found out more about ourselves. Whether or not we liked that painting we painted we just did something, grew and learned. If we didn’t like that painting then we might try our hand out at writing or doing BMX tricks on a half pipe and KABOOM! next thing you know you’re a world class super star setting a Guinness book world record for half pipe literature. Keep doing, keep going, you are strong and beautiful and amazing even if I don’t know you. Every step we take, every uncomfortable thing we try helps us become stronger, better, more attractive and helps our self esteem. You deserve to be happy, we all do. Start by doing one little thing at a time or say fuck it and go for the one huge thing. Check out this video below, it may be a little corny or not your style but it’s a great close your eyes and listen to or while you get ready in the bathroom youtube video. I’ll be posting some book’s I enjoy soon to help others out. Have a kickass day and I hope you enjoyed this post. GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GO BURN SOME FOOD OR SWEEP SOMETHING!
I came across this today and figured I’d add it as a bonus because I loved it so much. It’s a random motivational video I somehow came across on youtube. The beginning of it has a neat quick story two minute story right at the beginning by Steve Harvey, and I love this story so much because we face and have faced so many assholes in our lives. Now Steve doesn’t call her an asshole, that’s me saying that. So many people who don’t support us in life even our caretakers, family, teachers, people we trust and look up to as a child that mold us for life screw us and never even know it. Steve Says in the beginning and I want to save this in my memory bank for a long time, he says,” If you want to kill a big dream, tell it to a small minded person.” Long story short he wrote down a goal on a piece of paper as an assignment for his teacher. His goal was one day to be on TV. She called him to the front of the class to embarrass him in front of the class and she did a good job at it. Ending of the story every Christmas he mails her a flat screen TV. Check it out below it’s a quick listen. I’ll leave you with this, “The pain you have inside probably isn’t your fault, but it is your responsibility to heal it.”